The Graceful Art of Defrazzeling Mothers

The Graceful Art of Defrazzling Mothers

“I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and wonder, 'How did I ever get here?'”
- Joy Rose from the band “Housewives on Prozac”

I'm sure any mom on the planet can relate to that quote and the sense of exhaustion and bewilderment that it implies. Let's face it, ladies, after cooking, cleaning, caring, chauffeuring, and “career-ing” we're pretty frazzled – physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. We dream of lives we don't believe we will ever be able to live, long to go away on a luxury vacation we will probably never be able to afford, or struggle to just put life on “pause” long enough to refuel before we have to tackle that next mountain of laundry. Unfortunately, those dreams look pretty hopeless, this side of the stack of dirty dishes in the sink. And spending our time longing for what isn't means we miss the important moments and seasons that are happening now, and which will become the building blocks for the future.

The Graceful Art of Defrazzling means learning to live our lives in those moments and seasons. Living in moments means that we must learn to take small amounts of time each day to refresh our souls, laugh, breathe deeply, express gratitude, and rejoice over our children and husbands – especially on the bad days! We need to look for natural pauses in our days: waiting at a stop light or in a grocery store line; waiting for the pot to boil; that moment of quiet right after the kids go down for their naps - and other little breaks in our day - to take a brief vacation from drudgery. We need to use these moments to stop and look for small, present things to cherish: the golden curls on our toddler's head; the warm sunshine outside; the sound of children's laughter; the feel of a baby's soft skin; the taste of a perfectly brewed cup of quality tea. Look for and savour moments like this throughout your day.

And while we look for moments, but we must also recognize our seasons. Living in seasons means we need to remember that what we are experiencing now is not what we will experience forever. When the kids are really young and we're not getting any sleep, knowing that this is temporary is helpful. Recognizing that these precious little ones will soon be grown and out of the house is also important to recognize. Summertime means less time for ourselves with kids home all day, but more opportunities for memories and connecting as a family. We may not have time for anything right now except for survival – but if we're using our moments to prepare for the next season while we learn to get through this one, things will be different. Seasons enable us to cope with today, but also look to the future. Daily chores and errands can usually wait while we connect in a special way with our family members. We need to recognize the season we're in, and learn to deal with each season in a way that creates a solid foundation for the next one.

So the next time you're wearily folding laundry, give thanks for the person each item belongs to, say a prayer for them, cherish a special memory you have of them – or plan to create a new one, and remember that - for better or worse - “this too, shall pass”.

Darlene Hull

Darlene Hull is an ordinary, imperfect mom who sees her mission as helping moms look after themselves so that they can better look after their families. Darlene is married to Tom and has two children – Simon (12) and Christina (10.5) whom she home schools. You can find out more about her on her website at www.mom-defrazzler.com and even download a free “Mom-Defrazzler” while you're there.

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